Confession: My son has Asperger’s Syndrome.
Although not widely diagnosed anymore in the United States, Asperger’s falls under the autistic spectrum. Yet, when you look at my sweet boy, you wouldn’t know he has autism.
He doesn’t look different.
Most of the time he doesn’t act different.
Yet, if you ask him to take his shoes off- you might see a change in his personality. If you ask him to do dancing aerobics in PE class, you are going to get an absolute no.
“Sounds like he is just defiant.”
Yeah, you might be saying that to yourself. I don’t blame you. For years, I judged Mamas who had kids like my son.
Until I became his Mama.
Then, I understood.
You see, Asperger’s deals with social interactions. It deals with things that don’t feel right to them. It deals with kids who struggle with different sensory issues. Asperger usually look “normal”. They look like other children. However, they really struggle with interaction. My son, who is almost 12, prefers to play with children several years younger – because socially, they are on the same level.
It is hard for me to always remember he has autism. Most days, it doesn’t affect our life.
Until the phone rings.
He had a melt down in school. A teacher can’t read his handwriting. He didn’t understand the ambiguous way the rule was given. He doesn’t understand the sarcasm that was used. The phone rings, and my heart cries out.
I want him to be just like every other child. To understand the implied. To get the sarcasm. To see the grey in what might normally be black and white. To dance and sing. To be able to have strong fine motor skills to write.
Those things are not going to be for my boy.
So my confession is, I have a son with autism.
My confession is – some days, that is really hard. <em><strong>Really</strong></em>.There are days that I cope by crying. Click To Tweet
There are days that I cope by reading books and becoming educated.
Sometimes, those ways don’t work.
Even when they do – I have learned that the best way to cope is to cry out to God.
God made him- fearfully and wonderfully. On purpose and for a purpose. God allowed my boy to have Asperger’s, and is going to use him because of his Asperger’s.
Each of us were made on purpose and for a purpose. Even children with autism. No matter where they fall on the spectrum – from high functioning like my son, to children that will never leave our homes. God has made them on purpose. They are loved by him. They were also created for a purpose. Maybe that purpose is to draw others to Him. Maybe it is so that we, as their Mama, will rely on God in a new and more potent way. No matter what the purpose- it is God’s – and only our child can fulfill it – and it can only be done because of the unique and beautiful way God created them.
Maybe you struggle some days with the why. Mama, you’re not alone. I do too. Yet, there are others days that I can appreciate the ways that God made my boy. I can be thankful for even those moments when the meltdowns happen and the tears begin to flow – because I know that God is working this for His good.
It may not feel good to you right now. It might not seem fair. Some days, it might seem like more than you can handle – and it probably is. Yet, know that God loves your child very much, and he has a purpose for them – and for you.
I have a confession. My son has autism. And it is well with me.
Mandy Kelly is passionate about two things: The Word of God and the Souls of Men (and Ladies!). She is a married to her best friend, and gets the privilege to love on their three blessings (who lost their biological momma leaving her husband widowed). She loves that the Lord has let her life be an example of delighting in Him and watching Him mold her life to make her desires match His. She spent 9 years in an early childhood classroom, and 4 years in an “in house” seminary program at her home church.She loves to bring God glory through her roles as Christ-follower, Wife and Mother (in that order!)
She enjoys women’s ministry, cooking, crafting, and traveling the world. Her greatest desires are to have her marriage bring God ultimate glory, see her children walk in truth, to lead others to the feet of Jesus, and to lead women into deeper and intimate relationship with their Savior through study of the Word of God. Mandy blogs about living a life of Worship through all aspects of her life at Worshipful Living.
Be sure to follow along with Coping Skills for Families Living with Autism to receive continued encouragement throughout the month of April as you journey along this special needs path with autism.